Jason's blog posts from July, 2008

Photo for the post '<a href=Sometimes you have to just pay respect'" />

Okay, so I usually don't do this, but every once in awhile, you come across something that makes you realize that beauty comes in many forms and shapes.  I came across this picture and couldn't believe the photo.  I want to point out a few things about it.

1. It's Helen Mirren, the famous actress who recently won an Oscar for Queen Elizabeth

2. She is 62 years old, yes I typed it right, 62

3. The picture is just a photographer without any retouching

It lets you know that it is our choice how we ultimately live our life.  People always talk about going on a diet or doing this cleanse and this weight loss program.  There is no miracle pill, it's all about how you take care of yourself or how you have lived your life.  Now this woman is 62, she definitely could never wake up one day and say, "I am going on an intense diet, and will look like this."  No!!  She had to respect herself so much that she has lived a life that has led to this picture.  Of course the money helps and the ability to have people help her 'maintain', but it all starts with self motivation.  If this picture doesn't motivate you to have a life balance and to practice wellness of "Mind, Body, and Spirit", then nothing will.  When I am 62, I hope I have a picture in my swim trunks and people will comment on how good I look. 

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Being Black in America

July 23, 2008

So last night was a night to remember. I went to six clubs, saw a crazy Heavy Metal show that gave new meaning to a Great concert and stage performance, saw an R&B show, was in close proximity to a shooting (hate saying involved or saw) and came home extremely late, only to begin watching tv, because my mind couldn't completely grasp everything that happened to me during the night. It was like a movie, but it was real events happening to me.

I will start by giving you a dry run down of the events that took place. I left work at 7pm and went directly to an "after work set" to meet up with my previous boss and a friend of mine. We left there and went to a Rock concert at another club around 9pm. We left there around 10pm to see an R&B concert at another club. We left that club around 10:30pm and went to another club. We decided that we had enough of that club, went to another one, only to leave there around 2:30 and then arrive at our last club for the night. Finally I was home about 4:30am. What a NIGHT!!!

By most standards that is a crazy night, but the devil is in the details. At the Rock concert, first I have to explain that it was a HEAVY METAL concert and it was a great experience. The lighting and staging was especially well done. The instrumentation was great and everyone played their part bringing together a sound that I usually wouldn't purchase, but it was a site to see. I was pleasantly pleased and as I was leaving, I saw a lot of music industry veterans that I knew. They were shocked to see me and the people I was with at the Rock event. There was even a statement that "we were the only Black people there." Now there is nothing truly offensive about the circumstances, because it was true, I think I counted 4 other black people total in the entire building. (Note to people who don’t give Rock a chance, so far I have seen 3 heavy metal shows and trust me, they are something to see at least once. I will go back and see a show. The group I saw was “Shinedown”.

My issue comes in that there are numerous white people who work rap/urban projects in music, but there are not many minorities working Rock. I have even heard some people say they don't listen to "certain" music they work, but they are still working it, because they understand the job and how to reach a demographic. Well why is it that the gatekeepers in the industry feel that minorities can only work "minority" focused projects? If I am a marketer, shouldn't I be able to market anything? It's always amazing how many white people are in a meeting about the new "street" project, but when it comes to Rock, if anyone other than a white person gives a suggestion it is seen as a remedial comment?

Well that was one of my first issues that kept me up thinking as I got home at an ungodly hour that should have sent me straight to bed. The second was that at the R&B concert, I was in the club, which is pretty small, when a shooting broke out. Let’s start with the following, the artist I came to see got off the stage, after talking briefly, he started walking towards a disruption. I realized I saw the guys involved in the dispute, when they came into the club and I had felt then that they weren't up to anything good. Then when I saw the pushing, I tried to grab the artist to follow me as I began to run for the exit. I reached the door only to hear the gun shot. I quickly ran outside, ducked behind a wall and waited a couple of minutes, finally reached the artist to make sure he was okay, then rejoined my friends (they had already left to grab something to eat) and we simply drove off to our next destination.

Even though, the entire gun situation is wrong, my issue came with myself. At no time did I feel like, "oh my god I was almost killed." Rather, I felt, "I knew this would happen when I saw the guys. Oh well, time to move on to the next destination." No other feeling came over me. I just rolled with it and kept it moving. A feeling came over me later when I got home that I was crazy for not being scared, nervous or unsure. I just knew what was in store and kept my eyes open for any disturbance to follow because I knew there would be some gun play. Something’s wrong with that kind of thinking. I am not sure if it is because of the industry I work in or just the perception I have from being in certain situations. Why didn't I become scared? Why did violence like that, which was so close, not affect me and cause me to go home and reflect?

At the end of the night, I just sat for a minute and could not believe the night I had been involved in. Mind you, I don't drink so there is an added adventure of watching people as they get drunker. Either way, it doesn't matter what's your status or your intentions, there is always something. I am just wondering, why? Does it have to do with race or choices? I don't have the answers, but I definitely will think about last night for quite some time.

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So I find myself every now and then checking out this Matt Harding video on youtube.It's amazing to me the amount of people that he was able to get to join him dancing.He was not only able to get a lot of people, but also a wide variety of people from different countries and nationalities.From the video it seems like he was just doing what he does, and people decided to join.I am sure there was some type of coordination, but it doesn't matter, because people still decided to join.I will be honest, after seeing the video; I tried to figure out how I could join him as well.I am definitely that guy that breaks in song and dance anywhere.It's just fun and refreshing.

Everyone I know who watches can't resist but to smile.It is just a simple, but heart warming video.Supposedly this all started because this guy, quit his job to travel and a friend wanted to tape him doing his "funny dance" during their trip.One thing led to another and now he has a sponsor and he travels the world doing his dance with a website that has millions of people trying to join in on his dance.

I am definitely not advocating people go out and quit their jobs.I am only advocating people to truly express themselves.Find that passion that makes you happy and cultivate it.Clearly for Matt Harding it was travel and dancing and look what happened when he finally became committed to it.When he really took it upon himself to develop is personal expression, he became free.I would love to visit all of the places in his video.But most of all I am impressed by his personal expression and hope that I can cultivate my self expression.

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Photo for the post '<a href=Redemption at the Ball Park'" />

So my wife and I recently went to the historic All Star game at Yankee Stadium. I also had the privilege of going to the homerun contest the night before. Even though, I am proud that I live in Brooklyn, NY and have come to the conclusion that I will never get my wife to leave Brooklyn, I will always be a Chicagoian at heart.  So you will notice from my picture that I am showcasing my love for my beloved Chicago White Sox.  (I am about to anger some people from my home town, but because I have been away for so long, I even have love for the Chicago Cubs..  *note to others, if you are from Chicago, you are suppose to choose one, it is not possible to actually root for both teams).  Anyway, I must admit, that the actual game was kind of a bore.  It was extremely hot and for some reason, the normal excitement wasn't in the ball park.  This could be attributed to many things, for instance, the amount of corporate seats that were purchased or given away and their recipients’ lack of intensity for the experience and game, the amount of young talent that participated in the game and the loss of blockbuster names either due to injury or down year statistically.  However, there was intensity in boo'ing Boston Red Sox players.  They got boo'ed every time their name was called.

Anyway, this post isn't really about the game, more so about one player, Josh Hamilton.  Josh is a special talent who from day one, had an ability to play baseball that amazed everyone who saw him.  He was drafted by the Tampa Ray Devil Rays at the age of 18 in 1999 and given a signing bonus that was unheard of for a high school draft pick, $3.5million.  He was in and out of the majors, suffered injuries, but worst of all, suffered from a drug addiction that would not seem to let his soul go.  When drafted, he was seen as the perfect prospect; a tremendous athlete and a clean wholesome boy.  Things changed and so did his life, because one day he woke up penny-less and out of baseball.  It's hard to believe that someone who was believed to have so much character and so much promise could fall so far, but it happens everyday.

No ONE ever wakes up and says, I want to throw all of my potential away.  It is always a string of events that happen which eventually leads a person to place they could have never imagined.  But it’s not for others to judge and belittle a person for a mistake or a problem that persists, but rather to help and restore that belief in self and the knowledge that any difficulty can be overcome.  Despair can happen to anyone, no matter the situation or status.  It is only by the grace of God and the drive that is within that it does not happen to you.

So even though Josh had fallen, he is officially having his coming out year in the 2008 season.  At All-Star break he was leading the majors in RBI's, he was player of the Month for April and May, and he was telling his story of redemption to anyone that would listen.  He has now been sober for 3 years and still talks about the deamons he faces everyday in order to keep his sobriety.  His story is a great one, one of many highs, a low, and a new high.  His is a story that will be told for ages, as he is a person with tremendous talent and a national platform to tell it.

However, I just do not want the world to forget that there are many people out there like Josh, who need others to believe in them.  Yes, they might not have the sports ability that Josh Hamilton has, but who knows what contribution can be made if someone would only reach out their hand and help.  Josh is here today, wow'ing the crowd at Yankee stadium for a number of reasons, but most of all because people around him did not give up on him and kept trying to get him to believe in himself.  

Please don't give up on the people around you who are struggling.  Who knows, it might be your voice that they hear one night that guides them back to the promise that once shined.  So yes the game to me was a little boring, but the story that I witnessed; the All-Star game in Yankee Stadium before its closing and the redemption of a fallen star, is one that I will never forget.  Josh has changed his routine, never is out late at night, never carries to much cash and always knows that he has to take one day at a time, but he is here and he is fulfilling his promise.  Thank you to those who never gave up on him and thank you to those who have never given up on the people like Josh Hamilton who are also fulfilling their promise today. 

 

More info about Josh hamilton, see below.... 

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/wire?section=mlb&id=3492395

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josh_Hamilton

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Going the Extra Mile

July 7, 2008

The below story from CNN is a true testament of going the extra mile.  Do you think they are crazy or making the necessary sacrafices to make this world a better place?

 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/02/hunger.house/index.html

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Father's Day

July 1, 2008

Father's Day

Father's Day is quickly approaching which means we are suppose to take
a minute to thank our fathers. It seems fathers always receive less
praise and attention and this is one of the few days that they receive
their proper respect. I know sometimes I slight my father especially
because my mother is definitely needier of my time and my attention.
So I will take this time to say my father is MY HERO.

He is not my hero because he is my father, but because of the example
he has given me. Let me begin with a story that I will always
remember. He, my grandmother, and I were out to eat as we did on a
normal basis. My grandmother asked me to go and get a newspaper out
of one of those coin vending machines. No one was around and I
thought I would be smart and get 2 papers instead of one. My father
made me go back and put money for the second paper in the machine and
open the door and close it right back, saying, "my character is
determined by how I act when there is no one watching."

This would seem as if my father was/is this cookie cutter father who
lives a perfect life. This assumption would be completely wrong. I
still remember when I was around 7 years old and many of my friends
came running to me to inform me of how great my father looked and
sounded on Good Morning America. That morning, all of their parents
informed them that "Jason's dad is on tv." They continued to tell me
that he was so brave to speak out to the world about his issues. I
was so confused about what people were talking about. I had no clue
about my father being on television, especially not such a big show as
Good Morning America. It turns out that I was in for a huge surprise.

My father was on GMA talking about sobriety. He was/is a recovering
drug and alcohol addict. My parents had decided they would talk to me
after the show and explain his entire history, which was completely
unknown to me. Matter of fact, my father was doing federal time when
I was 2 years old. He wasn't just a previous drug addict, but also a
convicted felon, who had done numerous crimes and served time for many
convictions.

Honestly, I never had a clue. I mean as soon as he got out, I had to
spend every weekend with him. I have no memories of my father not
around; I can only remember having to go to his house on weekends,
even if I wanted to stay with my mother. I remember when I was older
around 16 years old, he had a background check done. To my surprise,
there were pages of criminal charges, convictions, and time served.
It was my first time touching and really understanding my father's
past. There was even a comical part to it, that with the numerous
pages and charges, he had the nerve to say, "but one of those isn't
mine."

Like I said, I never knew that part of my father's life. He decided
to help those who had been in his same situation; he became a drug and
alcohol counselor/administrator. Everyday he works on his sobriety,
even though it has been over twenty years. He is and will always be a
recovering addict and every Saturday morning you will find him at his
meetings. However, this has never been his definition. Friends are
always shocked to find out about his past. There is no way to know
just from meeting him.

And even though his past doesn't define him, he will always tell
people, it is definitely a part of who he is today. I have heard
numerous times from people who say, "Your dad saved my life." I can't
ever explain the impact that has had on me. Many people do not
understand addiction, but it is a disease that can never be cured,
only treated. So everyday as my father is treating his disease, he is
still out there trying to help others treat their disease. He lives a
very full life, he and my mother are friends, and he has spent his
years helping others.

He teaches me everyday and one of the biggest lessons have been that
neither your past, nor present, nor future define you, but it is only
a part of your make up. Ultimately it is within that defines the
person. Tomorrow you can always make a new day, but it is up to you
to decide today. Just because you failed, it doesn't mean you can't
get up and do better than ever before. There is so much he has taught
me in just living his life. So yeah he did make some horrible
mistakes in his life, but those mistakes helped him to become the
person he is today and he has learned to embrace it and use it to help
others. All I know of him is: a loving, caring, respectable,
teaching, and devoted father. I just hope that one day my child can
look at me the way I look at him; PROUD TO CALL ME DAD!!!

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There are a lot of people who are out there searching for that magical person, that magical job, that magical fill-in-the-blank. They use a variety of tools and resources to find it. We all see the commercials and know the names monster.com, eharmony.com, match.com, etc.

The only hindrance is that we can never find that one until we are ready to handle it. As long as you are not ready, there will always be problems: the location isn't right, he/she smokes, the benefits don't work, the interviewer didn't like me, and the list continues. However it has nothing to do with the exterior, it is all about the interior.

The “ONE” will come when you are ready. Have you really taken the necessary steps? Are you fully over that ex? Do you have the necessary skills for the job? Have you acquired the necessary data base to be successful? Why would you ever want that magical experience only to fail at it?

It’s all about preparing yourself for when it is in front of you. It’s about creating a solid foundation and using the correct building blocks so that the magical ONE can come into your life. And not only will you be able to accept it, but you will be successful with it. Once you evaluate and if you decide to take the steps to build yourself, trust me, when you are ready, it will come to you.

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Well write your own dictionary
-The Great Debaters, Melvin B. Tolson (Denzel Washington's character)

Unfortunately, there was a movie that many people didn't see, "The Great Debaters.". It was well written, the direction was excellent and the young cast did a marvelous job at giving the characters depth. Overall it was an excellent movie, and it gave me a great idea; I will write my own dictionary.

I am not going to literally write my own dictionary, I mean that would be completely insane. Knowing me, I would probably misspell the words that I create. Rather I plan on creating my own definition of self and my presence in this world. I am going to create my own Jasonpedia. Everyday I will wake up and add a new page to my dictionary.

I doubt I will ever finish my dictionary, but it will be fun to create. It starts with my personal thought process and defining how I truly have come to understand and how I analyze life. It comes with a dose of reality and revisions that my family and friends will constantly provide for me. It will continue with insight that will be granted to me from the people and things around me. It will be my own dictionary; my own definition of fulfillment, responsibility, commitment, and analysis.

Everyday I will create my dictionary with the goal of making a perfect me. Not perfect in someone else's eyes, but rather the perfect that Mary J sings about, "I like what I see, when I'm looking at me, when I'm walking past the mirror".

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  • Jason Wiley

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  • I am a marketing executive at Jive Records, but life is about more than where I work.I am a dedicated husban…

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Jason's Latest Commentary (6)

  • November 17, 2008

    Voting is suppose to be anonymous, so I question the validity of the poll.  Also, who was responsible for the poll?  Either way, I don't quite understand how allowing someone to be committed and become a more stable home can be bad for anyone?  Also, how does other people getting married affect others, i.e. even if a heterosexual couple gets married tomorrow, it won't affect me, so why would a gay couple affect me.  "RIGHTS" is a powerful word and why shouldn't everyone have the same rights?  I thought that was the point of this country....  If someone can explain why it's so bad for same sex marriage other than, I think it's wrong, then I will agree, as of now, I could care less if anyone wants to get married.  Because I have heard a lot of reasons why it is bad if a committed couple can't be married; i.e., legal, in death decisions, property, etc.

  • November 11, 2008

    It's interesting because both of our recent posts are about the overwhelming emotions that we are all feeling by the election of Barack Obama.  There are a lot of hard times ahead of our new President.  I hope we all give him time and work to help him accomplish the necessary things to make this country successful.

  • September 26, 2008

    I know I will do my part to make sure it happens next year.  Even though I spent most of my time in the hospital.  I would do it all again to make sure the picnic happens

  • August 4, 2008

    Okay, but lets be honest, there is a general type of person who is urinating in public, in the middle of the day, with no influence of alcohol or drugs.  Is it good to start that path with a child so early? 

  • July 20, 2008

    This is where I have always wondered about the translation of the Bible, because I do not believe that anyone should ever fear, i.e. be scared, nervous or un sure about GOD, but always have faith that his will and his love will carry you through anything.  To me, by having faith in him and believing in his WORD, you will always try to live life as he would want you.  Unfortunately, everyone is human, so no one can ever live life perfectly as we should, but in trying to live a GODly life, you are also assuring and displaying to everyone your Faith in GOD.  If I have Faith in him, why would I Fear him?

  • June 30, 2008

    does it really mean family

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