Jason's blog posts from June, 2008

Never Had A Bad Day

June 30, 2008

People are always confused when I say, "I've never had a bad day," but it's the truth. I have and will never have a bad day. Don't get me wrong, I have definitely had my bad moments during a day, but I have never had a bad day. Honestly, how could I?

To start off my day, I wake up and to end my day, I go to bed. Nothing about that seems bad. During my day, I eat, have shelter, wear clothes, and live. How can that really be such a bad day? I also try to live my life the best I can. I don't try to live the way someone else lives. I don't try to please others. I try hard to outdo myself everyday, but you will not find me trying to outdo someone else. So how can I have a bad day.

Now there are times I receive upsetting news, or something happens at work that I do not like, or I have an argument or a bunch of other things that could create a list a mile long. However after all of that happens I still manage to go to bed and go to sleep. So it really wasn't a bad day, but rather a bad moment that happens during the day.

Every night I release whatever it was that happened, because at the end of the day, I am not dead, I am still breathing, I am going to sleep and I have a new day tomorrow to begin. Why would I begin my new day still referencing bad moments. I can never have a bad day and never will, just bad moments. I mean really, what is so BAD????

No responses yet | Make a comment


It's okay for us to "not know". It's okay for us to be unsure. No one ever said that we have to know everything, all the time, every time. The worst thing is when someone beats themselves up because they are unsure. God didn't make anyone perfect and therefore that means there has to be times when we don't know.
There will be times when you are unsure of what's the next move to make. It is okay!! It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or you have a problem. It just means you are unsure.

You need to take the time necessary to make the right decision, to gather more information and to have conviction when you finally decide. Don't get me wrong, you will ultimately have to make a decision, but it is okay to not know right away. Sometimes we are presented with choices that seem right either way or we are presented with choices that seem wrong either way.

Take time, walk away from the decision and center yourself. Think about the good and the bad that comes with the decision and focus on what's in your heart that will lead to a happier outcome. Always strive for personal happiness, which will differ for everyone, but strive to fulfill your own happiness when you are in a situation where you are unsure.

People have been uncertain about things from the beginning of time and people will be uncertain until the end of time. It is only for us to know that these times will be presented to us and we will have to deal with them. There is nothing wrong with a person who is unsure, or worried or fearful of a decision. This just reminds us that we are human and that we have to sometimes take a minute a look deep inside before we make a decision. It's not for us to beat ourselves up or get mad because we don't know. We all will be faced with these moments and that is what makes us GREAT. The ability to care about making the right decision and the ability to take the time to make that right decision.

No responses yet | Make a comment


Love Needs More

June 30, 2008

There can not be anymore, "but I am in love". Love needs more than for someone to just say the words. Love needs more than you to feel like it's in your heart. Love needs more than just to think it's right. Love needs work. Love needs care. Love needs to be taken care of by those who use the word.

Love is one of the most beautiful expressions, very similar to a precious flower. As anyone knows who has tried to grow flowers, it takes a lot of time, effort, care and work to get a flower to bloom. The more precious, one-of-a-kind and exotic the flower the more care that is needed. This is the same for love. The more precious the love, means that there will be more work needed.

Work isn't a bad word, people need to use it more. The more energy you put into anything, the more rewarding the experience. Please don't just use the words, but actually take the time, energy and do the work to make sure the words LOVE mean something.

No responses yet | Make a comment


Inner Wealth

June 30, 2008

I have a huge admiration for people who follow their heart and understand who they are and what they want in life. Usually these are NOT the people who are out there chasing a dollar or following the path created by a system, or dating that wrong person. People who follow their heart are out there creating their own path and making decisions that are best rather than what seems logical.

Following the heart is a wonderful path that will only lead to true happiness. If only people could just listen to what it says as there are many times that the heart will contradict the brain. For example, when you are with that guy who you know isn't right for you, but your brain tells you that if you give him another chance it will work out. It is actually the heart that tries to tell you that he just isn't the right one for you.

People get the heart and brain confused a lot. There are so many conversations about love and how much a person is in love with the wrong person, but these people believe that the heart is what keeps them in the relationship. It is really the brain which uses reasoning and logic and looks to justify wrongs, while the heart actually only wants a pure path for you.

The heart will not lie, the brain will lie to you, but the heart will not lie. Think about those people who are in love with someone from the other side of the tracks, a different race, a different religion, or any other situation that the system would say is wrong. The brain is there to tell us, no this is wrong, you can't do this, but the heart is there to tell you if this is the right person for you. The heart guides you and tell you if you two are in love, care for each other and look to better each other. The heart is always trying to make sure you are truly happy.

The heart not only works for finding a great partner, but also to live life. When you are able to wake up everyday and do something you love you are destined to live a happy life. Too many people are concerned with money, careers, what people think about them, status, and everything else except for being happy and following their heart. When a person follows their heart and looks to be happy, money, status career and everything else will follow.

Our hearts are pure and unclouded by the world. Our brains learn everyday and are taught by the society we are raised. It is always going to be biased by something. Please follow your heart for true fulfillment.

No responses yet | Make a comment


Good Guy Finish....

June 30, 2008

There is a story that goes a little like this, "one day this guy named Steve Jobs was starting a company called Apple and decided to bring in this new guy named, Bill Gates. Well the story continues that Steve allowed Bill to see all aspects of his company and showed him the ropes of the programming/computer industry. Unfortunately, Bill didn't see it the same way as Steve and took the information and left the Apple company to create his own company called Microsoft." I don't know how true the story is, but it is supposedly how Apple and Microsoft both started. Either way, Steve Jobs was being a good guy and tried to bring along a new guy into his start up company. Some would wonder aloud, "see it never pays to be a good guy" and I would counter with, if it wasn't for Bill Gates, Steve Jobs would not be the man he is today. He would not need to find other ways to invest his research and would not be the inventor and creator of the IPod, ITunes, IPhone and the entire I series of inventions.

This goes for life in general. The good guy doesn't FINISH last. Just ask a few key good guys out there... Desmond Tutu, Deepak Chopra, Oprah, and others. You better believe there is money to be made in being good. There are a lot of people who would argue with you that they know a few good guys who have finished ahead in the world and live a good and peaceful life. The greatest aspect of being a good guy is the piece of mind that comes with the way you live. Not only are you able to finish ahead of the pact, but you are also able to live life not having to worry about what people are hunting for you because of the way you have treated them. I am a fan of the good guys and girls out there. They are the people that make this a better planet and world.

Think about the teachers you have had in your life. It's because they are "good" people that make them teachers, because it is definitely not a profession that pays you for all of your hard work and dedication. I applaud all of the good men and women who walk this earth and know that they are still able to do well, while living well. I strive everyday to be one of them.

No responses yet | Make a comment


I am sorry but I have to stop people from killing their spirit and their ability to grow. Too many times I hear the most horrible questions that a person could ever ask, "why is he with that girl?" "Why is she with that guy?" "Why is her/his hair that way?" "Why is she/he dressed that way?"

Clearly who ever you are concerned about is living their life and doing whatever makes them happy. While on the other hand you are concerned about their actions which means that it is impossible for you to be able to focus on yourself and look out for your own needs. Diverting your energy and feelings towards someone else can be a daunting task and should only be used to help others such as "Why is he/she homeless?" "Why is he/she starving?" and other questions of meaning.

You have to watch how your energy is exhausted as you do not want anything to divert you from the ultimate goal of bettering yourself and your surroundings. It is difficult to practice, but the life of others has nothing to do with your abilities and needs. Perfect example is "Why did he/she leave me?" Well the answer is really simple, because they weren't right for you. If you were honestly living your life positively then either they weren't ready to handle your positive energy or they weren't able to understand it. At the end of the day, when you are able to focus on yourself in a positive way, it will only make everything around you better.

For example the questions you should always ask is "How can I make my life better?" "How can I be more healthy?" "How can I further my growth?" This is what I call positive energy and when a person has positive energy then that means that all things good and great will follow. I know this is something I always struggle with, but everyday I look to be less concerned about why others are living their life the way they choose and more on how I can better live my life.

No responses yet | Make a comment


Definition of A Man

June 27, 2008

To define a man is probably more difficult than finding a Perfect Woman. By no means is a MAN defined by how much money he has, how many people he has beat up, how many degrees he possess, how many women he has had sex with, how many times he's been to jail or any of the crazy notions you hear. However, a man can be defined in the most basic of terms as a male who is a provider, understands responsibility, is driven towards excellence, and is willing to make right any wrongs.

Beginning with the word provider, I don't want there to be any mistakes in thinking that this means a man must make more than a woman and provide all that she needs. A real MAN does not need to make more than a woman, matter of fact he could even stay at home and take care of the kids and make no money in a relationship. A provider could be seen as the following, a provider of security, a provider of comfort, a provider of respect, a provider of love, a provider of maturity, and many other ways of providing. It does not only mean PROVIDING MONEY. A good woman can make her own money. Don't get me wrong, it can mean a provider of financial security, but don't ever confine yourself to that limited definition.

Secondly, a MAN understands responsibility in its many forms. This begins with understanding his needs, wants and desires and while understanding his self, he becomes aware of how he must achieve these things. Not every MAN is going to have an ivy league degree or even a degree. Not every MAN is going to have a job making six figures but a MAN will understand responsibility and how to take care of his responsibilities. He understands that sometimes life will throw you a new burden that wasn't planned for, but it doesn't falter him from standing up and taking on the responsibility of that new burden.

It is important for everyone to understand that NO ONE is perfect and if anyone tells you that they are, then it is necessary for you to move away from them as quickly as possible. A MAN is always working and driving towards excellence. He is always looking to better himself, better his situation, and better his understanding of the world around him. He's not perfect now and he understands that he has work to do on himself, which he is always striving to accomplish. Don't think this means that one day he will be perfect. It only means that a MAN is always striving for excellence.

Lastly, when we come to understand that no one is perfect we also understand that mistakes will happen. It's only human. With these mistakes comes the opportunity for a MAN to really show himself. Once a mistake happens he is the first to admit it and try his hardest to right the wrong. A MAN is always looking to correct any mistake that he has done. It does not mean he will make everything right as soon as the mistake happens, but rather admit his wrongs and try to prevent it from ever happening again and correct it as much as possible.

A MAN is a continuous work in progress and once a male has all four of these characteristics, they can build and add other features to themselves to show their true personalities. But a male must be someone who is a provider, understands responsibility, is driven towards excellence, and is willing to make right any wrongs in order to be a MAN

No responses yet | Make a comment


Usually there are people sitting around talking about how there are only 2 or 3 types of women. I think the underlining factor that usually is lost in these type of conversations is that women are very similar to men. They have the same basic needs, it is only their reactions to their wants, needs and desires that are different.

Women want to have fun, be loved, make love, be successful, have a family, and even dare I say it, have no strings attached sex, get head and enjoy life. It is no different than what a man wants, however how they react to or choose to accomplish their results might differ. Therefore, I digress in saying, are there only 3 types of men??.... Hell no!!

However even as I acknowledge that my previous comments could be false or true, i do not believe that the classification of women is really the concern here, but rather the possibility of finding that elusive "perfect woman". Does she exist?

I would have to say definitely. However I would also say there are many forms to that perfect woman. I think I have been very fortunate to have dated a few GREAT women that seemed to be capable of reaching that perfect plateau... However only one reached it and I am married to her..

By no means does that mean it is without hardship, time, communication, and dedication that you find that "PERFECT WOMAN". However, there a few qualities that I believe a woman must have in order for her to be perfect for any man. Now mind you, the actual woman is different for every man. My wife would not work for someone else and someone else's wife would not work for me. It is our own individual qualities that allow us the ability have our partners to complete us.

Basic set of qualities that must exist
1. She only wants the best for you. She never wishes harm and hopes that you accomplish successful activities. This does not mean she will agree with your actions, nor does it mean she will drop everything to make life happen for you while missing out on hers.

2. She cares for you, your family and the important people and things in your life. This does not mean she will care for everyone or everything in your life. As we grow and mature we realize that not all people and all things are good for us. So there might be some women she dislikes, some men she dislikes and some things she dislikes, because remember, trait number one is always first, "She only wants the best for you"

3. She is on a similar LIFE PLANE as you. You know people focus a lot about age, but age really isn't the key, it is the life force that is around them that is important. For example, if you 30 and have finished college, are working successfully, and thinking about furthering your education, you can not find that PERFECT WOMAN, in someone who is also 30, but has no aspirations, goals and never thinks about being successful. You are just not on the same LIFE PLANE. Many men get this confused with sexual ability, body type and similar age. All might be good for getting hit off, but not for a life together

4. She is willing to work through problems. Do not ever believe that you will not have PROBLEMS with that Perfect Woman. You might actually have the hardest, most painful, difficult problems with that PEFECT WOMAN. What makes her perfect is that somehow, someway, you are able to communicate, work, and decide together that you will move forward and through whatever is the problem...

5. She is a partner. This means that you two work together to accomplish happiness. Remember, however you have decided to live your life, there are always certain needs that have to be met. She is the person that helps you to make sure all of your needs are met. Marriage is about 2 individuals coming together to be one. Therefore that means both have to work to get it all accomplished.

6. All 5 of the above characteristics are the basis to the PERFECT WOMAN!!! You will need at least all 5 in a woman, it doesn't mean you won't need more, it only means that these 5 have to be present. Everything that is built from there is different depending on the relationship, different depending on the man and different depending on the woman. However, I am willing to bet that any other man in a committed relationship would say that their woman possess all of the 5 qualities that are listed.

To sum it up the type of woman you have around you is dependent on your experiences and search techniques. You can't find a diamond in a pile of horse shit. You have to be searching in the right locations and even then, you have to work hard to find and keep her. Diamond mines aren't easy work...

Lastly, how did I knowyou found her??? Well with Diane it was the friendship that we struck as soon as we met. We literally haven't gone a day from the day we've met without speaking. I can't do a lot of things without her now. She is a MAJOR part of my life and from that first moment I was drawn into her like never before. So to sound cliche, as the movies say, for me, I just knew.

Sorry for the long post, I guess I had a lot to say on the subject. Love is great and when you find it, even if you have to work extremely HARD to keep it. Without it, I would be incomplete, so I will never lose it.

1 response(s) | Make a comment


Jason's Profile

  • Photo of Jason
  • Jason Wiley

    New York,
    United States

  • I am a marketing executive at Jive Records, but life is about more than where I work.I am a dedicated husban…

  • View My Profile

  • View My Colleagues

Jason's Latest Commentary (6)

  • November 17, 2008

    Voting is suppose to be anonymous, so I question the validity of the poll.  Also, who was responsible for the poll?  Either way, I don't quite understand how allowing someone to be committed and become a more stable home can be bad for anyone?  Also, how does other people getting married affect others, i.e. even if a heterosexual couple gets married tomorrow, it won't affect me, so why would a gay couple affect me.  "RIGHTS" is a powerful word and why shouldn't everyone have the same rights?  I thought that was the point of this country....  If someone can explain why it's so bad for same sex marriage other than, I think it's wrong, then I will agree, as of now, I could care less if anyone wants to get married.  Because I have heard a lot of reasons why it is bad if a committed couple can't be married; i.e., legal, in death decisions, property, etc.

  • November 11, 2008

    It's interesting because both of our recent posts are about the overwhelming emotions that we are all feeling by the election of Barack Obama.  There are a lot of hard times ahead of our new President.  I hope we all give him time and work to help him accomplish the necessary things to make this country successful.

  • September 26, 2008

    I know I will do my part to make sure it happens next year.  Even though I spent most of my time in the hospital.  I would do it all again to make sure the picnic happens

  • August 4, 2008

    Okay, but lets be honest, there is a general type of person who is urinating in public, in the middle of the day, with no influence of alcohol or drugs.  Is it good to start that path with a child so early? 

  • July 20, 2008

    This is where I have always wondered about the translation of the Bible, because I do not believe that anyone should ever fear, i.e. be scared, nervous or un sure about GOD, but always have faith that his will and his love will carry you through anything.  To me, by having faith in him and believing in his WORD, you will always try to live life as he would want you.  Unfortunately, everyone is human, so no one can ever live life perfectly as we should, but in trying to live a GODly life, you are also assuring and displaying to everyone your Faith in GOD.  If I have Faith in him, why would I Fear him?

  • June 30, 2008

    does it really mean family

Calendar
January 2009
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
        1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31