Jason Wiley

I am a marketing executive at Jive Records, but life is about more than where I work.I am a dedicated husban…

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The Destiny

July 1, 2008

Some nights I lay tormented by the thought that I am not fulfilling my destiny. The thoughts encompass my destiny, my talent, my potential, my wife, my parents, and an overall feeling that I am “letting someone down”. If I really thought about it, I could never worry about fulfilling my destiny, because it is an oxymoron. Destiny means something that is to happen or has happened, so in essence I should never worry about fulfilling my destiny, rather enjoy whatever happens.

However, I do realize that there are people who constantly fight their destiny. I do not believe anyone is destined to commit an illegal act, but rather makes decisions that counter their destiny and wind up in unfortunate situations. I believe everyone has fortune ahead of them if they just listen, work, and focus.

Unfortunately people continuously fight against their talents and fortunes. For instance, I have a friend that is a wonderful writer. I mean his emails are always written perfectly and on many occasions I find myself pulling out a dictionary in order to fully understand what he was saying. Furthermore, what always cracks me up about his perfect emails, are that they are just an email to friends that don’t needed to be perfect, it’s not like these are professional, work emails. You would think he would move towards being a writer/journalist, however, he has done everything to avoid this skill. Always saying, it is just something he does well, not what he is meant to do. I am sure many people know others who are similar; you sit back and watch someone with a skill and ability that you would rejoice and maximize if you had only an ounce of their talent.

There are many examples of how meditating and listening to that inner voice can lead you on the correct path. Think about when you are looking for your keys and you can’t find them anywhere. Only after looking for some time, you decide to sit and think, ultimately finding them within seconds. There is just something within that we all possess and when we listen; it will guide us to our destiny. So as long as I am listening/looking at the clues, I will not “let anyone down” and I will fulfill my destiny.

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Shameful Thoughts

July 1, 2008

The recent political events are simply amazing and wonderful. Literally I have been hurrying to a television to watch exit polls, election results and political experts, as if it was the heavy weight bout when Mike Tyson was in his prime. I am reading a different newspaper, website, or blog everyday, trying to better understand the positions, the predictions and any other insight I can gain about a delegate and a super delegate. This political process has consumed a lot of my thoughts and instilled a sense of excitement that I only experienced when my beloved Chicago Bears made it to the SuperBowl.

It seems I am not the only one. I was invited to numerous Super Tuesday parties. That's right, parties, like we were celebrating a birthday. Cake, cookies, popcorn, and plenty excitement every time an announcement was made, let alone when a state was declared. It seems that people are really excited about this year's election and we are only in the primaries. Who knows what will happen when we actually get to the general elections?

In this primary the Democrats have a serious contender in a Woman and an African American. In 2008, the general election will include a MINORITY who has a legitimate chance of winning. Even with that history making circumstance, that hasn't been the focus. The focus has been issues: Iraq, healthcare, economy, immigration, schools, and others. It is simply amazing and a wonderful experience to witness and participate.

However, with this excitement, I feel a sense of shame. Until this year I had resolved in myself that it might be possible to have a Woman as Vice President or an African American as a Vice President, but in no way would I see either as a President or a front runner in an election. I just knew that this country was too racist and too sexist to ALLOW anything other than a White male as President. And if someone somehow became a viable candidate they would either be assassinated or attacked through the media and internet in a way that would ultimately discredit them so much that even their strongest supporters would question their abilities.

I never really expressed it, but I definitely believed it deep in my soul. "There would not be a viable minority candidate for president" was just one of those TRUTHS. So today I sit ashamed; ashamed in my thoughts, ashamed in my trust of others, ashamed of myself. I had not only lost hope in others, but I had also limited myself with such beliefs. I was placing a cap on what a person could accomplish in America. It makes me wonder how much of that kind of thinking had crept into my life and held me back from a truly amazing experience or accomplishment.

NO MORE!!! The DREAM is possible and is only as big or small as you make it. I apologize to myself and to anyone who cares to know, but I underestimated you and I am sorry. Anything is possible if you believe and you work to accomplish it.

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The Dream Will Change

July 1, 2008

I have realized one of my dreams. It was a dream that began when I was 13 years old. I saw a music video and said to myself that one day I would work at Bad Boy records. It was one of those dreams that everyone laughs at. It was one of those dreams that you feel deep inside will come true one day, whether no one else believes it but you. But as a Chicago boy, it was very difficult for others to imagine.

There were many moments where outside pressures and disbelief pressured me into silence. I would worry about what others would say so rather than telling people my Dream, I would suppress it. But I started to realize there is a lot of power in expression, that my words carried energy. So I started expressing my dream out loud. I didn't care what people thought, I only cared about obtaining my dream.

Well, the day finally came for my dream to come true. I obtained an internship at Bad Boy. I actually did very well there too. I was the quickest intern to ever become a new hire. I rose through the ranks quickly. I became an executive before I could blink an eye. I met my wife! My life just became better every year.

All of a sudden I became afraid!!! I achieved what I set out to do. Although it had exceeded my expectations, I realized there was more for me out there. My dream had completely changed and it didn’t include Bad Boy. What was I suppose to do now?

I wanted to accomplish more for myself, I wanted to be with my family more, I just wanted MORE. I wasn't turning my back on my DREAMS, but rather embracing the fact that my dreams changed and it was ok. As we live life, we begin to see and experience more. As we grow, our DREAMS grow, and we have to embrace them. They might not even include anything you ever dreamed about before. The Dream might take you in a totally different direction. And you know what, its okay!!!

I am so glad I embraced my new Dream that I decided that it was in my best interest to follow it. Trust me, it will be bigger and better than anything I have done before. It’s my DREAM. Make sure you follow your Dreams, even if it has changed.

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Enjoy "IT" Now

July 1, 2008

Too many people go through their day, their month, their year without enjoying life. The fact that you woke up this morning is enough reason to be happy, but I am sure that most people have more reasons than that to be thankful. Well you should enjoy it now. You should enjoy life for what's happening now. Continue to make goals, create plans, save for a rainy day, and learn from your past, but also enjoy what you have now.

Take yourself out for a nice dinner (nice depending on your own definition, not what someone else tell you is nice) or get a massage, or take a walk in the park, or just sit a minute and rest. Whatever your joy, whatever it is that you can do for yourself, you should do it.

I am not saying you have to spend a lot of money, because you would be surprised what research, miles, points, off-peak, and sale could cost. "Big" trips can be cheaper than going from NY to DC. I know there are many times on a nice day at lunch, I might run to the bank and take the long route just to people watch and to take a minute to enjoy the now rather than hope the weather stays nice until I am done working.

I must acknowledge that my wife has taught me to enjoy what I have at the same time that I am saving for the future. We have gone to Paris for the weekend (Fri-Mon). I only took off of work for 2 days. We have gone to Toronto overnight (Sat-Sun). These are trips that people put off until they feel that they built up vacation time or until they feel they are ready, or whatever other excuse they can come up with to not do for self. We have even just met for lunch and talked, just enjoying the moment.

There are a lot of reasons why I am thankful while I am striving for more and looking to improve. But when it’s all said and done I will have taken a minute to enjoy what is going on and happening to me right now. I will not wait; rather I will make time to enjoy "it" now.

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Let's start with defining fear and faith. Based on wikipedia.org fear is an emotional response to tangible and realistic dangers. Faith is to commit oneself to act based on sufficient evidence to warrant belief, but without absolute proof and involves an act of will. No one can have the faith and true belief in anything if they have fear. Fear is the main component for doubt, which is the first step to failure.

In no way am I saying faith is all you need for there to be success. There needs to be more than blind faith. A person needs patience, work, desire, and understanding along with faith in order to be successful. As the definition states, "based on sufficient evidence to warrant belief, but without absolute proof.” You can not say, "I have faith in myself so I know I will do well", and expect that with a magical wand you become happy and successful. Without doing the research, putting in the work and learning what is needed to be successful, the misuse of the word faith will only lead to unnecessary failure and pain.

People discredit faith when it is used improperly and begin to believe fear is useful because "fear allows you to make cautious decisions" or "fear leads you to act with reason". Wrong! Fear only does one thing and that is to restrict a person from truly reaching their potential. If you want a job badly, but fear that you won't get it, are you willing to put all your efforts into obtaining that job? No, because you are also worried about setting up a plan B, a fall back plan for if that job does not come through. It’s the same for relationships, if you fear rejection; you are less likely to let a person know your real spirit, rather putting up guards to prepare for rejection. This preparation for 'plan B' and 'just in case’ only leads to failure.

Well I only prepare for success. I don't set myself up with blind faiths and I don't allow fear to creep into my soul. I do my research, I learn what's out there, I do the work that is necessary and then I add in the biggest ingredient, faith, and I always obtain whatever goal I was reaching for, whether it's monetary, physical, or spiritual.

If there are any signs of fear, then faith isn't present and that will only lead to me having doubts. I will begin to question. I will begin to set up a plan b, a plan c, etc. Then I will wonder why I wasn't successful and why I failed. The answer is plain and simple, I was fearful, which then led me to a path of nothingness.

I want a lot for myself and those around me. I want us all to reach our true peak performance. I will have faith in myself to know that whatever I do, I will be successful. I am no longer worried about a 'plan B' and 'just in case' is stricken from my vocabulary. Fear is not allowed in my circle, only FAITH with a side of hard work and preparation.

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My First

July 1, 2008

Today is my birthday. I was born on January 5, 1981 at 9:50am. It is also the day that my paternal grandmother, Anna Wiley, was born, January 5, 1917. It is also the day that my maternal grandmother, Marietta Bassett, was born, January 5, 1924. Both of these women have effected and affected my thoughts, actions, my growth and its probably safe to say, every one of my decisions. Everyone who truly knows me, knows that without a doubt, my grandmothers were my TRUE and BEST friends.

I have never thought of my birthday as a day for me, but rather a day to celebrate two very strong women. These women were both in the south and migrated to Chicago, which is why I became a "fat boy", because they brought that Southern real cooking to the family. They didn't have a college degree, matter of fact they didn't have much of an education. However, they did have smarts, they had determination, they had tenacity, they had love. Anna Wiley raised six childern (4 men and 2 women) and Marietta Bassett raised six childern (2 men and 4 women). I can say the first gift that was ever given to me was that I was born on the same day as these women and that I have been able to say that I share the same birthday as both of my grandmothers.

My paternal grandmother, Anna Wiley, passed away when I was 13 years old and I will never forget the feeling and the sight of seeing my father breakdown as we arrived at her house only to be informed that she passed away moments before we arrived. Watching your father cry really teaches a boy a lot about what it means to love and be a real man. My maternal grandmother, Marietta Bassett, passed away when I was 26 years old, just this October. This time, I was not there the day she passed, but I still had to watch 6 of the greatest men and women(my mother, aunts, and uncles) break down. Again, I was taught a lesson about family and love that I will always cherish.

Now it is January 5, 2008, and for the first time I do not have a grandmother to call first thing in the morning and wish a happy birthday. Every year it has always been the same, my grandmother reminding whoever was wishing her a "happy birthday" that "hey, don't forget it's Jason's birthday too", or "you know it's Jason's birthday right?" It was always so funny to me, because I never minded people forgetting it was my birthday as long as they celebrated my grandmothers' birthday. However, both my grandmothers were very focused on making sure people celebrated my birthday.

I have been given many gifts in my life, a great family, a truly understanding and supportive wife, many wonderful friends, and other material items that when you stack them up just don't compare to the real gifts in life. It has all paled in comparison to being born on the same day as my grandmothers. They taught me to be a man and to know that I was never to old for a whooping(if you never had to get the belt, switch, spoon or any usable item for your own demise, you have never lived life). This is my first and I only hope that I live a life with as much dignity, love, and spirit as they both lived. I missed my friends today, but its okay because I am a part of their legacy.

Love you GRANDMAS

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Confidence

July 1, 2008

I will have more confidence in myself, the ones that I love and that love me, and confidence in people I have yet to meet.  I know that it is okay to be the best, but I have to know that I am not the only best.  My confidence will not stop me from understanding that there is a lot of learning to be done and anyone can be my teacher.  When I think about it I know I have learned from my nephews who are 2 years old and 1 years old and learned from my grandmother who was 83 years old.

 Confidence can be tricky, because sometimes people allow it to turn into arrogance.  However when the confidence is used for not only yourself, but also the people who are around, it can become a key to unlocking a world of knowledge.  I mean, why would I have people around me if I can't be confident in their abilities and confident that they will honor and protect our friendship. As I become more confident in others I will be able to ask for advice more, I will be able to break down more, I will be able to learn more, and I will be able to let down my guards and be myself more.

 Confidence is defined as full trust, belief in the powers, trustworthiness, and reliability of a person or thing.  It is with this confidence that I am going to tackle being a better listener, a more thoughtful thinker, a better learner, a better teacher, and just a better human being.  I will use my confidence to help while I am on my new journey for self awareness and self improvement.  My confidence will allow me to step out and not fear the unknown, but rather embrace the path in front of me.  I am confident and I will TRUST.

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The greatest competition is the competition from within, not with others. I am the only one who can truly push myself to be successful. Competing and comparing myself to others only gives me a diagram for their goals and their success. I am bigger and better than what they want for themselves because my mind thinks beyond their dreams. I can not and will not be able to compare my fortune, success, wealth, happiness, and worth by what anyone else has anymore.

No one can have the exact same idea and the exact same goal as someone else. Our bodies, minds, thoughts and beliefs are like fingerprints, like snowflakes; we are all uniquely wonderful and different. So if we are all unique, how can I gauge myself by what someone else is doing or has done?

Do not be confused about learning and comparing. I will continue to try to learn from others and study others to understand what was done right, what was done wrong, what worked and what did not work. The success and failures of others can do a lot to help me to better my thought process and my growth, but it cannot determine my level of success. There is a HUGE scale that I have built for myself that will determine my goals, my levels of progress, and my success. There will be no comparison to any other people.

I have already begun pushing myself to limits that I didn't know existed only to find that once I reached a so called limit, I could go further. So I am very excited about not allowing others dreams and desires to cloud my ability to achieve because I know what's in store for me is GREAT. So from now on my only competition is with myself.

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  • Jason Wiley

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  • I am a marketing executive at Jive Records, but life is about more than where I work.I am a dedicated husban…

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Jason's Latest Commentary (6)

  • November 17, 2008

    Voting is suppose to be anonymous, so I question the validity of the poll.  Also, who was responsible for the poll?  Either way, I don't quite understand how allowing someone to be committed and become a more stable home can be bad for anyone?  Also, how does other people getting married affect others, i.e. even if a heterosexual couple gets married tomorrow, it won't affect me, so why would a gay couple affect me.  "RIGHTS" is a powerful word and why shouldn't everyone have the same rights?  I thought that was the point of this country....  If someone can explain why it's so bad for same sex marriage other than, I think it's wrong, then I will agree, as of now, I could care less if anyone wants to get married.  Because I have heard a lot of reasons why it is bad if a committed couple can't be married; i.e., legal, in death decisions, property, etc.

  • November 11, 2008

    It's interesting because both of our recent posts are about the overwhelming emotions that we are all feeling by the election of Barack Obama.  There are a lot of hard times ahead of our new President.  I hope we all give him time and work to help him accomplish the necessary things to make this country successful.

  • September 26, 2008

    I know I will do my part to make sure it happens next year.  Even though I spent most of my time in the hospital.  I would do it all again to make sure the picnic happens

  • August 4, 2008

    Okay, but lets be honest, there is a general type of person who is urinating in public, in the middle of the day, with no influence of alcohol or drugs.  Is it good to start that path with a child so early? 

  • July 20, 2008

    This is where I have always wondered about the translation of the Bible, because I do not believe that anyone should ever fear, i.e. be scared, nervous or un sure about GOD, but always have faith that his will and his love will carry you through anything.  To me, by having faith in him and believing in his WORD, you will always try to live life as he would want you.  Unfortunately, everyone is human, so no one can ever live life perfectly as we should, but in trying to live a GODly life, you are also assuring and displaying to everyone your Faith in GOD.  If I have Faith in him, why would I Fear him?

  • June 30, 2008

    does it really mean family

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