Jason Wiley

I am a marketing executive at Jive Records, but life is about more than where I work.I am a dedicated husban…

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Enjoy "IT" Now

July 1, 2008

Too many people go through their day, their month, their year without enjoying life. The fact that you woke up this morning is enough reason to be happy, but I am sure that most people have more reasons than that to be thankful. Well you should enjoy it now. You should enjoy life for what's happening now. Continue to make goals, create plans, save for a rainy day, and learn from your past, but also enjoy what you have now.

Take yourself out for a nice dinner (nice depending on your own definition, not what someone else tell you is nice) or get a massage, or take a walk in the park, or just sit a minute and rest. Whatever your joy, whatever it is that you can do for yourself, you should do it.

I am not saying you have to spend a lot of money, because you would be surprised what research, miles, points, off-peak, and sale could cost. "Big" trips can be cheaper than going from NY to DC. I know there are many times on a nice day at lunch, I might run to the bank and take the long route just to people watch and to take a minute to enjoy the now rather than hope the weather stays nice until I am done working.

I must acknowledge that my wife has taught me to enjoy what I have at the same time that I am saving for the future. We have gone to Paris for the weekend (Fri-Mon). I only took off of work for 2 days. We have gone to Toronto overnight (Sat-Sun). These are trips that people put off until they feel that they built up vacation time or until they feel they are ready, or whatever other excuse they can come up with to not do for self. We have even just met for lunch and talked, just enjoying the moment.

There are a lot of reasons why I am thankful while I am striving for more and looking to improve. But when it’s all said and done I will have taken a minute to enjoy what is going on and happening to me right now. I will not wait; rather I will make time to enjoy "it" now.

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Let's start with defining fear and faith. Based on wikipedia.org fear is an emotional response to tangible and realistic dangers. Faith is to commit oneself to act based on sufficient evidence to warrant belief, but without absolute proof and involves an act of will. No one can have the faith and true belief in anything if they have fear. Fear is the main component for doubt, which is the first step to failure.

In no way am I saying faith is all you need for there to be success. There needs to be more than blind faith. A person needs patience, work, desire, and understanding along with faith in order to be successful. As the definition states, "based on sufficient evidence to warrant belief, but without absolute proof.” You can not say, "I have faith in myself so I know I will do well", and expect that with a magical wand you become happy and successful. Without doing the research, putting in the work and learning what is needed to be successful, the misuse of the word faith will only lead to unnecessary failure and pain.

People discredit faith when it is used improperly and begin to believe fear is useful because "fear allows you to make cautious decisions" or "fear leads you to act with reason". Wrong! Fear only does one thing and that is to restrict a person from truly reaching their potential. If you want a job badly, but fear that you won't get it, are you willing to put all your efforts into obtaining that job? No, because you are also worried about setting up a plan B, a fall back plan for if that job does not come through. It’s the same for relationships, if you fear rejection; you are less likely to let a person know your real spirit, rather putting up guards to prepare for rejection. This preparation for 'plan B' and 'just in case’ only leads to failure.

Well I only prepare for success. I don't set myself up with blind faiths and I don't allow fear to creep into my soul. I do my research, I learn what's out there, I do the work that is necessary and then I add in the biggest ingredient, faith, and I always obtain whatever goal I was reaching for, whether it's monetary, physical, or spiritual.

If there are any signs of fear, then faith isn't present and that will only lead to me having doubts. I will begin to question. I will begin to set up a plan b, a plan c, etc. Then I will wonder why I wasn't successful and why I failed. The answer is plain and simple, I was fearful, which then led me to a path of nothingness.

I want a lot for myself and those around me. I want us all to reach our true peak performance. I will have faith in myself to know that whatever I do, I will be successful. I am no longer worried about a 'plan B' and 'just in case' is stricken from my vocabulary. Fear is not allowed in my circle, only FAITH with a side of hard work and preparation.

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My First

July 1, 2008

Today is my birthday. I was born on January 5, 1981 at 9:50am. It is also the day that my paternal grandmother, Anna Wiley, was born, January 5, 1917. It is also the day that my maternal grandmother, Marietta Bassett, was born, January 5, 1924. Both of these women have effected and affected my thoughts, actions, my growth and its probably safe to say, every one of my decisions. Everyone who truly knows me, knows that without a doubt, my grandmothers were my TRUE and BEST friends.

I have never thought of my birthday as a day for me, but rather a day to celebrate two very strong women. These women were both in the south and migrated to Chicago, which is why I became a "fat boy", because they brought that Southern real cooking to the family. They didn't have a college degree, matter of fact they didn't have much of an education. However, they did have smarts, they had determination, they had tenacity, they had love. Anna Wiley raised six childern (4 men and 2 women) and Marietta Bassett raised six childern (2 men and 4 women). I can say the first gift that was ever given to me was that I was born on the same day as these women and that I have been able to say that I share the same birthday as both of my grandmothers.

My paternal grandmother, Anna Wiley, passed away when I was 13 years old and I will never forget the feeling and the sight of seeing my father breakdown as we arrived at her house only to be informed that she passed away moments before we arrived. Watching your father cry really teaches a boy a lot about what it means to love and be a real man. My maternal grandmother, Marietta Bassett, passed away when I was 26 years old, just this October. This time, I was not there the day she passed, but I still had to watch 6 of the greatest men and women(my mother, aunts, and uncles) break down. Again, I was taught a lesson about family and love that I will always cherish.

Now it is January 5, 2008, and for the first time I do not have a grandmother to call first thing in the morning and wish a happy birthday. Every year it has always been the same, my grandmother reminding whoever was wishing her a "happy birthday" that "hey, don't forget it's Jason's birthday too", or "you know it's Jason's birthday right?" It was always so funny to me, because I never minded people forgetting it was my birthday as long as they celebrated my grandmothers' birthday. However, both my grandmothers were very focused on making sure people celebrated my birthday.

I have been given many gifts in my life, a great family, a truly understanding and supportive wife, many wonderful friends, and other material items that when you stack them up just don't compare to the real gifts in life. It has all paled in comparison to being born on the same day as my grandmothers. They taught me to be a man and to know that I was never to old for a whooping(if you never had to get the belt, switch, spoon or any usable item for your own demise, you have never lived life). This is my first and I only hope that I live a life with as much dignity, love, and spirit as they both lived. I missed my friends today, but its okay because I am a part of their legacy.

Love you GRANDMAS

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Confidence

July 1, 2008

I will have more confidence in myself, the ones that I love and that love me, and confidence in people I have yet to meet.  I know that it is okay to be the best, but I have to know that I am not the only best.  My confidence will not stop me from understanding that there is a lot of learning to be done and anyone can be my teacher.  When I think about it I know I have learned from my nephews who are 2 years old and 1 years old and learned from my grandmother who was 83 years old.

 Confidence can be tricky, because sometimes people allow it to turn into arrogance.  However when the confidence is used for not only yourself, but also the people who are around, it can become a key to unlocking a world of knowledge.  I mean, why would I have people around me if I can't be confident in their abilities and confident that they will honor and protect our friendship. As I become more confident in others I will be able to ask for advice more, I will be able to break down more, I will be able to learn more, and I will be able to let down my guards and be myself more.

 Confidence is defined as full trust, belief in the powers, trustworthiness, and reliability of a person or thing.  It is with this confidence that I am going to tackle being a better listener, a more thoughtful thinker, a better learner, a better teacher, and just a better human being.  I will use my confidence to help while I am on my new journey for self awareness and self improvement.  My confidence will allow me to step out and not fear the unknown, but rather embrace the path in front of me.  I am confident and I will TRUST.

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The greatest competition is the competition from within, not with others. I am the only one who can truly push myself to be successful. Competing and comparing myself to others only gives me a diagram for their goals and their success. I am bigger and better than what they want for themselves because my mind thinks beyond their dreams. I can not and will not be able to compare my fortune, success, wealth, happiness, and worth by what anyone else has anymore.

No one can have the exact same idea and the exact same goal as someone else. Our bodies, minds, thoughts and beliefs are like fingerprints, like snowflakes; we are all uniquely wonderful and different. So if we are all unique, how can I gauge myself by what someone else is doing or has done?

Do not be confused about learning and comparing. I will continue to try to learn from others and study others to understand what was done right, what was done wrong, what worked and what did not work. The success and failures of others can do a lot to help me to better my thought process and my growth, but it cannot determine my level of success. There is a HUGE scale that I have built for myself that will determine my goals, my levels of progress, and my success. There will be no comparison to any other people.

I have already begun pushing myself to limits that I didn't know existed only to find that once I reached a so called limit, I could go further. So I am very excited about not allowing others dreams and desires to cloud my ability to achieve because I know what's in store for me is GREAT. So from now on my only competition is with myself.

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I Am Going To Bet.....

July 1, 2008

So the New Year is upon us and it is time to begin anew. Usually this is the place where a person states their New Years resolution being either to get in the gym, read more, eat healthier, etc., etc. Well I am choosing to resolve to bet on myself this year. Not bet in the way that every decision I make will be right or that I know everything or that I have most of the answers. No, rather, bet on the fact that I can do well, that I can do better, that I can learn more, that I can be a better person, and that I can succeed more. I am going to bet that I can be more than just be.
This is going to be a hard resolution to keep because it is so easy to slip into the world of just being. Just getting up in the morning, going to work, maybe going out to meet friends, family and going home to bed; everyone has that time during their life when they are just being. But life and the world is more than that and I am going to taste that exciting world this year. I am going to learn about new things, I am going to try to not only learn about, but also understand something new that I didn't know about last year. I am going to eat healthier, I am going to exercise more, and be a kinder and more patient husband. I am going to take advantage of the world that is right in front of me and bet on myself more. I have a lot of untapped resources and it is time to tap into them.
Every year there are the same one dimensional resolutions and it is time for me to stop thinking one dimensionally. The longer I keep thinking like that, the longer I will stay in a one dimensional space. So this year I am betting on myself; I am letting in all ride on my heart, my mind, my spirit, and myself. I am going to take a ride that I have never taken before and turn this year into the year of exquisite existence. I can't wait, hopefully you too will take life to a new plateau this year. Just between me and you, there is a lot out there waiting for us and I am not letting it pass me by this year. So 2008 is the year I am betting on Jason Devin Wiley.

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We have to always do what we feel is right  It's not good to keep doing something, dating someone or working somewhere because, "what would people say."  I mean honestly, who cares.  So many people go through life trying to please others and will continue dating someone only because their parents like them.  Or they continue working at a job or in an industry because they went to a certain school and it is the "right" thing to do. 
 
Trust me the right thing to do is to follow your heart and admit to yourself that "I have come to realize this doesn't work for me." It's okay to say stop, "I don't like law school", stop, "I am not in love with this person", etc.  The wrong thing to do is to continue down a path in which you know is wrong only because of the perception that will follow if you move on to something else. 
 
Maybe it is hard to say that "I quit".  I can definitely understand the emotions that are evoked from the words quit.  So don't say quit, say, "I have come to realize this doesn't work for me."  Learning what you don't like, also helps you to define what you do like and what you will love.  Don't ever be afraid to take a risk, but understand that if it winds up being something you don't like then be strong enough to walk away and say it's not for you.
 
In the end, walking away could be the best decision.  There is never a need to stay with something because of other's perceptions. It's about fulfilling your dreams and desires. When you find a person you honestly love or a profession you truly love, or etc, it will never seem hard or like work.  It will always seem like the best thing you have done or the best decision you have made. 

Living life is also about finding things/people you don't like, as knowing what you don't like will help you find what you like.  It's okay to say, something is not for you.  Use the lesson to better understand yourself and move toward excellence.  Don't be afraid to say "I have come to realize this doesn't work for me and it is time to move on." 

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Answers

July 1, 2008

Have you ever had a question that was so pressing and kept you up at night, but you were concerned about the answer and wasn't sure if you were ready to handle hearing something you didn't want to hear? I am sure a lot of people can relate. There is a lot of worry and power in an answer. However, I am not willing to give someone else my power. I am not willing to let anyone keep me up all night, worrying while trying to work things out in my head when all I need is the answer to help me move forward.

I know it is hard to ask a question when I have already formulated what kind of answer I am going to receive. The only problem is that there is a lot of negative energy that is used to worry and to be upset. I do not like using negative energy because it only seems to attract a negative spirit. So there really is no good reason as to why I wouldn't ask the question except that I am scared of the answer.

Usually being scared of the answer means that I fear I will be hurt or let down. Being hurt is difficult, but once I am hurt I am quickly given the opportunity to heal and move forward. Without knowing the answer, but allowing it to cause anxiety, I will never be able to move forward. Matter of fact, it will only hold me back and I will stop focusing on improving myself and my surroundings because I will be concerned about the answer someone will give me.

I am not going to allow anyone to hold me back. Matter of fact, from this moment on, even if I am worried about being hurt with an answer, I will ask the question. Knowledge is the key to freedom, growth, and prosperity. The answer might hurt me, but I can move on from that hurt. Questions will be asked, so be prepared to give me answers.

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  • Jason Wiley

    New York,
    United States

  • I am a marketing executive at Jive Records, but life is about more than where I work.I am a dedicated husban…

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Jason's Latest Commentary (6)

  • November 17, 2008

    Voting is suppose to be anonymous, so I question the validity of the poll.  Also, who was responsible for the poll?  Either way, I don''t quite understand how allowing someone to be committed and become a more stable home can be bad for anyone?  Also, how does other people getting married affect others, i.e. even if a heterosexual couple gets married tomorrow, it won''t affect me, so why would a gay couple affect me.  "RIGHTS" is a powerful word and why shouldn''t everyone have the same rights?  I thought that was the point of this country....  If someone can explain why it''s so bad for same sex marriage other than, I think it''s wrong, then I will agree, as of now, I could care less if anyone wants to get married.  Because I have heard a lot of reasons why it is bad if a committed couple can''t be married; i.e., legal, in death decisions, property, etc.

  • November 11, 2008

    It''s interesting because both of our recent posts are about the overwhelming emotions that we are all feeling by the election of Barack Obama.  There are a lot of hard times ahead of our new President.  I hope we all give him time and work to help him accomplish the necessary things to make this country successful.

  • September 26, 2008

    I know I will do my part to make sure it happens next year.  Even though I spent most of my time in the hospital.  I would do it all again to make sure the picnic happens

  • August 4, 2008

    Okay, but lets be honest, there is a general type of person who is urinating in public, in the middle of the day, with no influence of alcohol or drugs.  Is it good to start that path with a child so early? 

  • July 20, 2008

    This is where I have always wondered about the translation of the Bible, because I do not believe that anyone should ever fear, i.e. be scared, nervous or un sure about GOD, but always have faith that his will and his love will carry you through anything.  To me, by having faith in him and believing in his WORD, you will always try to live life as he would want you.  Unfortunately, everyone is human, so no one can ever live life perfectly as we should, but in trying to live a GODly life, you are also assuring and displaying to everyone your Faith in GOD.  If I have Faith in him, why would I Fear him?

  • June 30, 2008

    does it really mean family

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