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June 1, 2008

Maybe I am the stupid one. Maybe I was dropped on my head when I was younger. Maybe I didn't learn the proper ways of today's society. Maybe I was born in the wrong era. Either way, I just do not understand why when I tell people that I am married, I hear "wow, you are so young," "that's unfortunate," "I could never do anything like that," or "that's crazy." While when you hear the same person being informed, "yeah I got 2 kids," or "I got a seed on the way," or my personal favorite, "I got a kid, but I don't fuck with my baby mama/ baby daddy." There is never a response or it questioned, it is just seen as something that happens.

How is it that someone who is married at the age of 26 is seen as having problems or being in an unfortunate circumstance, while someone who has a child before they are 26 is seen as a way of life? Isn't it harder, more of a sacrifice and more of a responsibility to raise a child?

I can't believe that we have come to a point where it is seen as a problem to get married before your 30's but a natural situation to have a baby out of wedlock before you are 25.

Being married is probably one of, if not the best decision I ever made. At 26, I feel I had time to learn about myself, to travel, to explore, to get an education, to start a career, to have my wild escapades, and to enjoy life. Now I enjoy life even more. I have someone that I know always has my back and is there for me whenever I need her. I never have to worry about being lonely, I never have to worry about not knowing if I will be loved, I never have to worry about not feeling 100% because whenever I am not feeling great she is there to pick me up, to help me and to love me.

Please inform me why being married is wrong, but having a child is becoming the norm?This is just BACKWARDS to me...

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Comments (1)

Omg, J!  You had me at "Maybe I'm the stupid one."  I, too, married at a young age and experienced the same types of comments.  After hearing this so much, it didn't seem like such a big deal when we decided to divorce six years later.

I believe that some people have a fear of deep commitment in our society.  We simply are afraid of growing up.  I think that others are just plain jealous over what you have, and the teasing or indignation comes from their wanting it.

In addition, if you tell me that you have chosen to become a priest, a soldier, or a sous chef (all things I have no desire to become or do), I hope that my response would be "I'm happy that you chose something that is right for you".

Posted 103 days ago by Lana

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  • Jason Wiley

    New York,
    United States

  • I am a marketing executive at Jive Records, but life is about more than where I work.I am a dedicated husban…

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Jason's Latest Commentary (6)

  • November 17, 2008

    Voting is suppose to be anonymous, so I question the validity of the poll.  Also, who was responsible for the poll?  Either way, I don't quite understand how allowing someone to be committed and become a more stable home can be bad for anyone?  Also, how does other people getting married affect others, i.e. even if a heterosexual couple gets married tomorrow, it won't affect me, so why would a gay couple affect me.  "RIGHTS" is a powerful word and why shouldn't everyone have the same rights?  I thought that was the point of this country....  If someone can explain why it's so bad for same sex marriage other than, I think it's wrong, then I will agree, as of now, I could care less if anyone wants to get married.  Because I have heard a lot of reasons why it is bad if a committed couple can't be married; i.e., legal, in death decisions, property, etc.

  • November 11, 2008

    It's interesting because both of our recent posts are about the overwhelming emotions that we are all feeling by the election of Barack Obama.  There are a lot of hard times ahead of our new President.  I hope we all give him time and work to help him accomplish the necessary things to make this country successful.

  • September 26, 2008

    I know I will do my part to make sure it happens next year.  Even though I spent most of my time in the hospital.  I would do it all again to make sure the picnic happens

  • August 4, 2008

    Okay, but lets be honest, there is a general type of person who is urinating in public, in the middle of the day, with no influence of alcohol or drugs.  Is it good to start that path with a child so early? 

  • July 20, 2008

    This is where I have always wondered about the translation of the Bible, because I do not believe that anyone should ever fear, i.e. be scared, nervous or un sure about GOD, but always have faith that his will and his love will carry you through anything.  To me, by having faith in him and believing in his WORD, you will always try to live life as he would want you.  Unfortunately, everyone is human, so no one can ever live life perfectly as we should, but in trying to live a GODly life, you are also assuring and displaying to everyone your Faith in GOD.  If I have Faith in him, why would I Fear him?

  • June 30, 2008

    does it really mean family

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