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Father's Day

July 1, 2008

Father's Day

Father's Day is quickly approaching which means we are suppose to take
a minute to thank our fathers. It seems fathers always receive less
praise and attention and this is one of the few days that they receive
their proper respect. I know sometimes I slight my father especially
because my mother is definitely needier of my time and my attention.
So I will take this time to say my father is MY HERO.

He is not my hero because he is my father, but because of the example
he has given me. Let me begin with a story that I will always
remember. He, my grandmother, and I were out to eat as we did on a
normal basis. My grandmother asked me to go and get a newspaper out
of one of those coin vending machines. No one was around and I
thought I would be smart and get 2 papers instead of one. My father
made me go back and put money for the second paper in the machine and
open the door and close it right back, saying, "my character is
determined by how I act when there is no one watching."

This would seem as if my father was/is this cookie cutter father who
lives a perfect life. This assumption would be completely wrong. I
still remember when I was around 7 years old and many of my friends
came running to me to inform me of how great my father looked and
sounded on Good Morning America. That morning, all of their parents
informed them that "Jason's dad is on tv." They continued to tell me
that he was so brave to speak out to the world about his issues. I
was so confused about what people were talking about. I had no clue
about my father being on television, especially not such a big show as
Good Morning America. It turns out that I was in for a huge surprise.

My father was on GMA talking about sobriety. He was/is a recovering
drug and alcohol addict. My parents had decided they would talk to me
after the show and explain his entire history, which was completely
unknown to me. Matter of fact, my father was doing federal time when
I was 2 years old. He wasn't just a previous drug addict, but also a
convicted felon, who had done numerous crimes and served time for many
convictions.

Honestly, I never had a clue. I mean as soon as he got out, I had to
spend every weekend with him. I have no memories of my father not
around; I can only remember having to go to his house on weekends,
even if I wanted to stay with my mother. I remember when I was older
around 16 years old, he had a background check done. To my surprise,
there were pages of criminal charges, convictions, and time served.
It was my first time touching and really understanding my father's
past. There was even a comical part to it, that with the numerous
pages and charges, he had the nerve to say, "but one of those isn't
mine."

Like I said, I never knew that part of my father's life. He decided
to help those who had been in his same situation; he became a drug and
alcohol counselor/administrator. Everyday he works on his sobriety,
even though it has been over twenty years. He is and will always be a
recovering addict and every Saturday morning you will find him at his
meetings. However, this has never been his definition. Friends are
always shocked to find out about his past. There is no way to know
just from meeting him.

And even though his past doesn't define him, he will always tell
people, it is definitely a part of who he is today. I have heard
numerous times from people who say, "Your dad saved my life." I can't
ever explain the impact that has had on me. Many people do not
understand addiction, but it is a disease that can never be cured,
only treated. So everyday as my father is treating his disease, he is
still out there trying to help others treat their disease. He lives a
very full life, he and my mother are friends, and he has spent his
years helping others.

He teaches me everyday and one of the biggest lessons have been that
neither your past, nor present, nor future define you, but it is only
a part of your make up. Ultimately it is within that defines the
person. Tomorrow you can always make a new day, but it is up to you
to decide today. Just because you failed, it doesn't mean you can't
get up and do better than ever before. There is so much he has taught
me in just living his life. So yeah he did make some horrible
mistakes in his life, but those mistakes helped him to become the
person he is today and he has learned to embrace it and use it to help
others. All I know of him is: a loving, caring, respectable,
teaching, and devoted father. I just hope that one day my child can
look at me the way I look at him; PROUD TO CALL ME DAD!!!

2 response(s) | Make a comment


Comments (2)

Interesting. It's true that many people seem to have smooth straight paths in their life, and some don't and their life are full of deviance. But, the people who self-reflect, find help, and stand up are always much stronger that we should never underestimate.

Actually, this kind of makes me think about Britney Spears. Regardless how much media pressure and negative coverage there were, if she does have changed and come back fresh, I would give her lots and lots of credits.

Posted 1370 days ago by Christine

Times are getting harder. 
This summer, in
Chicago, there are daily broadcasts of killings of young, black males.  Where are their fathers. ..fathers of the victims, fathers of the offenders..would knowing, loving, respecting and having a father who is involved make a difference in these young people's life.  I know that sometimes women make it difficult for a man to be involved with their children, but isn't it worth the fight...your father proves that it makes a difference.  I wish the same for all Black children and their fathers. 

Posted 1419 days ago by Cheryl

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Jason's Latest Commentary (6)

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  • September 26, 2008

    I know I will do my part to make sure it happens next year.  Even though I spent most of my time in the hospital.  I would do it all again to make sure the picnic happens

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