Family is the foundation, everything else is just decoration
August 4, 2008
Recently, I saw a most unfortunate sight. A mother was helping her son of less than 7 years old piss on the wall of a store at a busy intersection in the middle of the day. I want to make sure that I point out every significant issue of this situation.
1. It was a busy intersection, which means there were numerous people who witnessed the action. Also, there were numerous businesses that were open and all able to provide a bathroom for a mother who's son needed to use the facilities. With a quick glance, I was able to see bodega's, restaurants, home furnishing stores, supply stores and many other establishments that had a restroom.
2. It was the middle of the day so the action was very obvious and people could easily see. Since the action was taking place at a busy intersection, there were pedestrians, cars, and bicyclist who all received a bird's eye view.
3. The mother was seemingly proud at helping the boy hold himself as he urinated on a wall.
I must also admit that I am making quite a few assumptions, one being that the woman was his mother and not a sick individual, as well as the boy being less than 7 years old. I was not able to verify either assumption, but between my wife and I, we were confident that both were/are true.
There are so many things wrong with this picture that I do not know which problem is worst, but I will only use this space to talk about the foundation that exist for this boy. A mother who feels that it is okay to deface other's property, that her son doesn't need to find proper facilities to urinate, the lack of respect for self and others in doing such a private act, publicly, and the simple disregard for societal norms, all seem like the wrong signals to send to a boy of his age. To make matters worst, all that I have just named are only the surface of the issues that surround this boy urinating on a wall
How will a teacher be able to change this training? How will a mentor be able to change this training? I would love to have gotten out of the car, introduced myself and just followed the boy for his life. It was very clear to me that the odds of this boy becoming successful were diminishing right in front of my face. I just wonder what will happen later? Will it be the school's fault? Will it be the fault of an absentee father? Will it be the fault of society?
It needs to all start at home. The decisions that his mother makes, will impact him for life. The fact that she not only condones, but also participates in such actions, indicates a lot to this child, who will only later compound other unfortunate scenarios. No one has more impact than a person's family, especially a person's mother. I don't care if the mother is present or has previously abandoned the child. (How many people are searching for their mother's love - which is an entirely different and more complicated topic) A mother is the beginning of any person and I would argue has more impact than any father, therefore if a mother is not providing the necessary tools for her child then I would argue that her child is going to have a lot of obstacles throughout life.
The foundation is very important for a building. It doesn't matter how tall, solid, beautiful a building looks, if the foundation isn't done properly the structure will ultimatly crumble. The same is true for humans. The family structure is the foundation for every child and if a mother or any guardian is not properly guiding the lives of their children, ultimately that child will become an adult with many problems. I only hope that someone comes into the life of that boy that I saw on the street, because it is clear that his current foundation is a little shaky.
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Comments (3)
Wow, its amazing what can be witnessed on a regular day walking down the street. I feel so sorry for that boy because whoever that woman is, she is teaching him some awful habits. Worst is that, that very boy might meet my daughter one day and decide he can pee on her! I bet R. Kelly started out peeing on walls. Anyway, my daughter would give him the beating his mama should have. On the real though, it pains me to see some of the ways of mother's. Because I am one and also sympathetic to mother's that can't (for whatever reasons) give their kids certain things, there is no cost to teaching respect, good judgment and the law. It is against the law to pee on buildings. I am sure she knows that. See, unfortunately, if you would have walked up to her to refresh her memory on it, she would have probably shot you or maybe tazor. I'm not giving her the benefit of the doubt on shit. If you said, she couldn't afford to take him to see a Broadway play, okay, I'll buy the ticket, he'll be better for it, but to allow him to pee on a building in the middle of the day, just wrong. See, he could have pee'd on himself and then she could have taught him the lesson of using the bathroom before you leave the house or the shelter (for all that are about to say they are homeless). Gotta go!
Posted 1273 days ago by Moraima
Okay, but lets be honest, there is a general type of person who is urinating in public, in the middle of the day, with no influence of alcohol or drugs. Is it good to start that path with a child so early?
Posted 1280 days ago by Jason
You have made a lot of assumptions. Just because the mother is lacking in one area does not necessarily mean that she is across the board. (Although I am one who abhors men peeing in public against a building, in an urban area, when there are generally restrooms available all around). I do think that psychologically she gives her son a message of entitlement by saying that it is okay to relieve/release yourself inappropriately and as you please, but I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she was 1) with her son, if that was indeed her child and 2) tending to his needs. But every decision that is made as a parent can be scrutinized, criticized and critiqued. It is a tough job, with no instruction manual and we, as parents, make mistakes. Let's hope that is just one slip of judgement against the hundreds of important, insightful decisions she makes for her child(ren)
Posted 1280 days ago by Cheryl
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