June 1, 2008
Maybe I am the stupid one. Maybe I was dropped on my head when I was younger. Maybe I didn't learn the proper ways of today's society. Maybe I was born in the wrong era. Either way, I just do not understand why when I tell people that I am married, I hear "wow, you are so young," "that's unfortunate," "I could never do anything like that," or "that's crazy." While when you hear the same person being informed, "yeah I got 2 kids," or "I got a seed on the way," or my personal favorite, "I got a kid, but I don't fuck with my baby mama/ baby daddy." There is never a response or it questioned, it is just seen as something that happens.
How is it that someone who is married at the age of 26 is seen as having problems or being in an unfortunate circumstance, while someone who has a child before they are 26 is seen as a way of life? Isn't it harder, more of a sacrifice and more of a responsibility to raise a child?
I can't believe that we have come to a point where it is seen as a problem to get married before your 30's but a natural situation to have a baby out of wedlock before you are 25.
Being married is probably one of, if not the best decision I ever made. At 26, I feel I had time to learn about myself, to travel, to explore, to get an education, to start a career, to have my wild escapades, and to enjoy life. Now I enjoy life even more. I have someone that I know always has my back and is there for me whenever I need her. I never have to worry about being lonely, I never have to worry about not knowing if I will be loved, I never have to worry about not feeling 100% because whenever I am not feeling great she is there to pick me up, to help me and to love me.
Please inform me why being married is wrong, but having a child is becoming the norm?This is just BACKWARDS to me...
June 1, 2008
Usually there are people sitting around talking about how there are only 2 or 3 types of women. I think the underlining factor that usually is lost in these type of conversations is that women are very similar to men. They have the same basic needs, it is only their reactions to their wants, needs and desires that are different.
Women want to have fun, be loved, make love, be successful, have a family, and even dare I say it, have no strings attached sex, get head and enjoy life. It is no different than what a man wants, however how they react to or choose to accomplish their results might differ. Therefore, I digress in saying, are there only 3 types of men??.... Hell no!!
However even as I acknowledge that my previous comments could be false or true, i do not believe that the classification of women is really the concern here, but rather the possibility of finding that elusive "perfect woman". Does she exist?
I would have to say definitely. However I would also say there are many forms to that perfect woman. I think I have been very fortunate to have dated a few GREAT women that seemed to be capable of reaching that perfect plateau... However only one reached it and I am married to her..
By no means does that mean it is without hardship, time, communication, and dedication that you find that "PERFECT WOMAN". However, there a few qualities that I believe a woman must have in order for her to be perfect for any man. Now mind you, the actual woman is different for every man. My wife would not work for someone else and someone else's wife would not work for me. It is our own individual qualities that allow us the ability have our partners to complete us.
Basic set of qualities that must exist
1. She only wants the best for you. She never wishes harm and hopes that you accomplish successful activities. This does not mean she will agree with your actions, nor does it mean she will drop everything to make life happen for you while missing out on hers.
2. She cares for you, your family and the important people and things in your life. This does not mean she will care for everyone or everything in your life. As we grow and mature we realize that not all people and all things are good for us. So there might be some women she dislikes, some men she dislikes and some things she dislikes, because remember, trait number one is always first, "She only wants the best for you"
3. She is on a similar LIFE PLANE as you. You know people focus a lot about age, but age really isn't the key, it is the life force that is around them that is important. For example, if you 30 and have finished college, are working successfully, and thinking about furthering your education, you can not find that PERFECT WOMAN, in someone who is also 30, but has no aspirations, goals and never thinks about being successful. You are just not on the same LIFE PLANE. Many men get this confused with sexual ability, body type and similar age. All might be good for getting hit off, but not for a life together
4. She is willing to work through problems. Do not ever believe that you will not have PROBLEMS with that Perfect Woman. You might actually have the hardest, most painful, difficult problems with that PEFECT WOMAN. What makes her perfect is that somehow, someway, you are able to communicate, work, and decide together that you will move forward and through whatever is the problem...
5. She is a partner. This means that you two work together to accomplish happiness. Remember, however you have decided to live your life, there are always certain needs that have to be met. She is the person that helps you to make sure all of your needs are met. Marriage is about 2 individuals coming together to be one. Therefore that means both have to work to get it all accomplished.
6. All 5 of the above characteristics are the basis to the PERFECT WOMAN!!! You will need at least all 5 in a woman, it doesn't mean you won't need more, it only means that these 5 have to be present. Everything that is built from there is different depending on the relationship, different depending on the man and different depending on the woman. However, I am willing to bet that any other man in a committed relationship would say that their woman possess all of the 5 qualities that are listed.
To sum it up the type of woman you have around you is dependent on your experiences and search techniques. You can't find a diamond in a pile of horse shit. You have to be searching in the right locations and even then, you have to work hard to find and keep her. Diamond mines aren't easy work...
Lastly, how did I knowyou found her??? Well with Diane it was the friendship that we struck as soon as we met. We literally haven't gone a day from the day we've met without speaking. I can't do a lot of things without her now. She is a MAJOR part of my life and from that first moment I was drawn into her like never before. So to sound cliche, as the movies say, for me, I just knew.
Sorry for the long post, I guess I had a lot to say on the subject. Love is great and when you find it, even if you have to work extremely HARD to keep it. Without it, I would be incomplete, so I will never lose it.