Jason's blog posts with the category "Lifestyle"

 

I am many things.  I think everyday, every moment, I change my definition.  Through life experiences, more information, and growth I scrape and reshape myself to be a better person.  I doubt this process will ever end, as I know my friends and family will attest; I am light years away from being the best human being I could be, but every day I do strive to be better.  So I define myself by many words: Man, African American, husband, son, brother, cousin, friend, student, good, friendly, talkative, a people person, strong, weak, smart, intelligent, silly, quick to judgment, stubborn, positive, wishful, thankful, energetic, extravert, and the list continues.  I am always redefining myself and a variety of words can be used on any day at any given time.

Some days I am better than others, but I try to make sure I define myself with positive and progressive words.  However, there are those days where I am mean, ungrateful, negative, vengeful, and probably thousands more.  I do try everyday to remove those words and feelings from my soul and spirit, because those types of words have no benefits in my life.  At the end of the day I am what I am and that’s just a continuous work in progress.

Then I also remember that today we are more connected than ever before.  Through the use of the many social networks I find myself updated on what people are doing that I knew over 15 years ago and probably haven’t physically seen in over 10 years.  Through it all, I know that other people are also connected with me.  I only hope that they are seeing how I define myself.  Because I am also a combination of how they define me.  There is no way to separate myself from my connection to others, so my definition also comes from them.

If people define me as selfish, mean, nasty, hurtful, vengeful, negative, disrespectful, ungrateful, cruel, spiteful, and the many other harmful words that can describe someone’s character, then I have a problem.  No matter how I describe myself, if others see me in a negative light, I have a lot of work to do to change my personality.  I have to always be aware of how others are seeing me because it is only a reflection of me.  I can choose not to see or believe the reflection, but for the most part it has some truth to it.

I am not saying there won’t be days when people will be incorrect about me or have misjudgments.  However if I take a look at the macro rather than the micro, I am sure to see a trend, and that trend/pattern is important.  So I redefine myself everyday and so do others and I only hope that most of those definitions are positive because I am what I am and I am what you see.  What do you see?

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Do they love the human being??

November 17, 2008

I have been very fortunate in my career.  Through hard work, dedication, intelligence, skill and a lot of luck, I have been able to move up the ladder quickly.  It has been exciting and afforded me the opportunity to interact with a lot of people who I have admired and dreamt about meeting.  Never did I think I would be able to sit in meetings and exchange ideas and give my opinions to these people.  It has also allowed me to come to know people who I respected from afar only to meet and learn that my respect wasn't earned and should have never been bestowed upon such repulsive people.

 

Meeting people who seemed highly successful, but were lacking in many human qualities has been a learning experience.  It has taught me that success is not about the quantity that a man has, but the quality of the man.  My position, wealth, accomplishments, and so forth all could contribute to a following or a level of respect, but the question is whether when all of those 'things' are stripped away will those people still be around, will they still respect?

 

To this day I still say thank you to people at work.  I know it’s their job.  I know it’s a part of their job description.  I know they are my subordinate.  I know they are my boss, but at the end of the day, I am still respectful of the people and know that we all juggle multiple things at work.  A simple thank you will go a long way to move my needs to the top of the list. 

 

It’s never about the position, the fear, or the money but rather it’s all about the person.  I want people to respect the human being, not the title.  If I am not respected because of the quality of my life and the character within, then I do not have true respect.  Ultimately if that's the case, I have failed as a person.  So my goal is to have respect as a human being and if I am not succeeding, I hope my friends and family take the time to inform me.  So my new addition to my goal list is to be loved as the human being.

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Recently, I was in Atlanta on business.  I frequent the city quite often because there are a lot of musicians living there now.  So as a part of my job I have to go down there and work with different artists.  There is a very popular chain in the South called Waffle House.  It is basically a grease spoon similar to the diners of Jersey.  But you always know what you are going to get and it is fairly quick.  So recently I happen to go in for an order to feed 6 people.  Nothing too expensive but the bill was around $37.  I find that if the waiter/waitress is semi-pleasant and quick with my order I will usually give a 20% tip. 

A 20% tip has actually become quite regular for me.  I think I will have to change that though, because most of the time these restaurants don't have the service that deserves 20%.  I mean, a tip is for the service, not the food.  Anyway, I say all of this to say, that since the bill was $37, I found myself giving the woman a tip of $6.  After she seen me writing on the credit card slip, the amount of the tip, she began saying how grateful she was of me and how nice I was to give her such a nice tip.  She then began to tell her fellow co-workers, I am so glad that I didn't cash out my tips yet. 

We also had conversations about my blackberry and phone, while she explained to her co-worker that the blackberry was like having a computer.  First, let me say, I wife and I began typing away on our 2-way pagers as we began our relationship so from there we moved on to a blackberry.  I remember getting a blackberry from Nextel for free in 2003 and selling it to a friend for $100, because I had no idea what to do with it.  Little did I know, I should have invested in the stock.  Anyway, to give a $6 tip wasn't even a thought; it wasn't anything but a reaction to the number 3, in $37.  I just simply double that first number for a tip.

While for this woman, I had just made an impact on her.  I had just been so generous.  I had just given her a "big" tip.  Obviously we are in two different financial places in our life, but it doesn't mean that she does not have the same dreams as me.  I have been very fortunate.  Don't get me wrong, I have worked hard for what I have accomplished and always tried to do better for myself and my family.  But this woman reminded me that I have to be grateful for all that I have and that I am capable of attaining in the future.

Some days it is hard.   You turn on the news and all you hear about is the bailout, the Dow dropping, and the impact on the housing market.  All which I have a huge interest in as I own a home, have money invested in the market and am concerned about what kind of tax breaks I will receive with this new plan.  I doubt any of this is what that woman at Waffle House is concerned about, as she probably has other worries; worries that I am fortunate enough not to have at this time. 

Some days it is hard.  Some days my wife and I are very concerned about money.  Some days I am unsure.  But I will remember that $6 difference I gave and how, even though I might believe it to be hard, it can be much worst.  I am reminded of how much I do have and will use that as my barometer of hard.  Not just because I want more.  Wanting more isn't hard; not having and needing is the HARD.  Luckily I can say, all I want is More.  I have all I ‘need’.

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Being Black in America

July 23, 2008

So last night was a night to remember. I went to six clubs, saw a crazy Heavy Metal show that gave new meaning to a Great concert and stage performance, saw an R&B show, was in close proximity to a shooting (hate saying involved or saw) and came home extremely late, only to begin watching tv, because my mind couldn't completely grasp everything that happened to me during the night. It was like a movie, but it was real events happening to me.

I will start by giving you a dry run down of the events that took place. I left work at 7pm and went directly to an "after work set" to meet up with my previous boss and a friend of mine. We left there and went to a Rock concert at another club around 9pm. We left there around 10pm to see an R&B concert at another club. We left that club around 10:30pm and went to another club. We decided that we had enough of that club, went to another one, only to leave there around 2:30 and then arrive at our last club for the night. Finally I was home about 4:30am. What a NIGHT!!!

By most standards that is a crazy night, but the devil is in the details. At the Rock concert, first I have to explain that it was a HEAVY METAL concert and it was a great experience. The lighting and staging was especially well done. The instrumentation was great and everyone played their part bringing together a sound that I usually wouldn't purchase, but it was a site to see. I was pleasantly pleased and as I was leaving, I saw a lot of music industry veterans that I knew. They were shocked to see me and the people I was with at the Rock event. There was even a statement that "we were the only Black people there." Now there is nothing truly offensive about the circumstances, because it was true, I think I counted 4 other black people total in the entire building. (Note to people who don’t give Rock a chance, so far I have seen 3 heavy metal shows and trust me, they are something to see at least once. I will go back and see a show. The group I saw was “Shinedown”.

My issue comes in that there are numerous white people who work rap/urban projects in music, but there are not many minorities working Rock. I have even heard some people say they don't listen to "certain" music they work, but they are still working it, because they understand the job and how to reach a demographic. Well why is it that the gatekeepers in the industry feel that minorities can only work "minority" focused projects? If I am a marketer, shouldn't I be able to market anything? It's always amazing how many white people are in a meeting about the new "street" project, but when it comes to Rock, if anyone other than a white person gives a suggestion it is seen as a remedial comment?

Well that was one of my first issues that kept me up thinking as I got home at an ungodly hour that should have sent me straight to bed. The second was that at the R&B concert, I was in the club, which is pretty small, when a shooting broke out. Let’s start with the following, the artist I came to see got off the stage, after talking briefly, he started walking towards a disruption. I realized I saw the guys involved in the dispute, when they came into the club and I had felt then that they weren't up to anything good. Then when I saw the pushing, I tried to grab the artist to follow me as I began to run for the exit. I reached the door only to hear the gun shot. I quickly ran outside, ducked behind a wall and waited a couple of minutes, finally reached the artist to make sure he was okay, then rejoined my friends (they had already left to grab something to eat) and we simply drove off to our next destination.

Even though, the entire gun situation is wrong, my issue came with myself. At no time did I feel like, "oh my god I was almost killed." Rather, I felt, "I knew this would happen when I saw the guys. Oh well, time to move on to the next destination." No other feeling came over me. I just rolled with it and kept it moving. A feeling came over me later when I got home that I was crazy for not being scared, nervous or unsure. I just knew what was in store and kept my eyes open for any disturbance to follow because I knew there would be some gun play. Something’s wrong with that kind of thinking. I am not sure if it is because of the industry I work in or just the perception I have from being in certain situations. Why didn't I become scared? Why did violence like that, which was so close, not affect me and cause me to go home and reflect?

At the end of the night, I just sat for a minute and could not believe the night I had been involved in. Mind you, I don't drink so there is an added adventure of watching people as they get drunker. Either way, it doesn't matter what's your status or your intentions, there is always something. I am just wondering, why? Does it have to do with race or choices? I don't have the answers, but I definitely will think about last night for quite some time.

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Going the Extra Mile

July 7, 2008

The below story from CNN is a true testament of going the extra mile.  Do you think they are crazy or making the necessary sacrafices to make this world a better place?

 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/02/hunger.house/index.html

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Well write your own dictionary
-The Great Debaters, Melvin B. Tolson (Denzel Washington's character)

Unfortunately, there was a movie that many people didn't see, "The Great Debaters.". It was well written, the direction was excellent and the young cast did a marvelous job at giving the characters depth. Overall it was an excellent movie, and it gave me a great idea; I will write my own dictionary.

I am not going to literally write my own dictionary, I mean that would be completely insane. Knowing me, I would probably misspell the words that I create. Rather I plan on creating my own definition of self and my presence in this world. I am going to create my own Jasonpedia. Everyday I will wake up and add a new page to my dictionary.

I doubt I will ever finish my dictionary, but it will be fun to create. It starts with my personal thought process and defining how I truly have come to understand and how I analyze life. It comes with a dose of reality and revisions that my family and friends will constantly provide for me. It will continue with insight that will be granted to me from the people and things around me. It will be my own dictionary; my own definition of fulfillment, responsibility, commitment, and analysis.

Everyday I will create my dictionary with the goal of making a perfect me. Not perfect in someone else's eyes, but rather the perfect that Mary J sings about, "I like what I see, when I'm looking at me, when I'm walking past the mirror".

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Awareness

July 1, 2008

Recently my wife started doing something THAT I FELT WAS really silly; she began taking camera phone pictures of people who were asleep on the train. I mean, every night she would come home with a different photo of an unsuspecting person who had become immortalized on her camera phone.

Then, ONE DAY I was riding the train with her and realized it wasn't that silly AT ALL. Rather, it was very eye opening because as you look around for sleeping people you are also opening your eyes to be more aware. I began to notice the FIVE different languages being spoken on my little car, just one of 10 cars. I saw a couple arguing very very quietly. I saw a couple in love. I saw a guy wishing he had the nerve to talk to a girl. I saw a father and his daughter. I saw a woman over worked. I saw a man happy to be going home from work.

Why can't I say hello to the people who get on the elevator with me? Why do we not speak to the guy flying next to us? Why do we not engage that person we see on the train every morning going to work? Who knows what secrets will be revealed, if we just communicate more and open our bubble to each other. I began to realize there is a lot to see and learn AROUND US. I just have to open my eyes more and pay attention.

There is always a lot going on around us. Some good and some bad, but all of it provides knowledge and insight. I am going to open up and be more AWARE.

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It has always been amazing to me to see people who have never done anything in a certain industry or field and become extremely successful at it. I will use an example from the NBA. Look at what Mark Cuban was able to do with the Dallas Mavericks. Before he bought the team, it was considered the laughing stock of all sports. The value of the team was low, the team didn't have winning seasons, and no player wanted to be on, let alone drafted by the team. Then, Mark Cuban, the internet Geek, was able to purchase the team and do a complete 180. The value is up, players are excited to play for Dallas and the team has been a consistent contender in the West. Now looking from the outside, no one thought that an internet "maverick" would be able to successfully turn around a professional sports team that had done so poorly for so many years. I am willing to bet anyone it was because he knew he COULD, he believed in himself and he envisioned making the team successful before he made his first offer.

It is all about thought manifestation. Whatever I think, IT will come into my life. Have you ever had one of those moments where you were thinking about someone who you hadn't spoke to in awhile and the phone rings or an email came across your screen from that person? So now take that situation and apply it to your life. Apply it to your professional and personal life. I am going to apply that same thinking to my life from now on. I will always see and think success no matter the circumstances.

The words "I can't, I don't, I won't," only serve to further acknowledge what I DO NOT have and continue to block me from obtaining the prosperity that I deserve. Rather, by saying "I will, I can, I do" I show that there is only one thing that can prevent me from obtaining the riches that I deserve - me. So I promise that I will not allow my thoughts to enter a negative space.

I know I can definitely point to moments where I was in a predicament that seemed negative, but I stayed positive and got out of the situation successfully. It is also about surrounding myself with people who think like me and are manifesting successful thoughts. I do not want to get caught up into someone else's negativity.

I can still remember my teachings as a youngster, "right thoughts followed by right actions" will only equal success. You better get ready because my mind is full of GREAT thoughts!!

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  • Jason Wiley

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  • I am a marketing executive at Jive Records, but life is about more than where I work.I am a dedicated husban…

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Jason's Latest Commentary (6)

  • November 17, 2008

    Voting is suppose to be anonymous, so I question the validity of the poll.  Also, who was responsible for the poll?  Either way, I don't quite understand how allowing someone to be committed and become a more stable home can be bad for anyone?  Also, how does other people getting married affect others, i.e. even if a heterosexual couple gets married tomorrow, it won't affect me, so why would a gay couple affect me.  "RIGHTS" is a powerful word and why shouldn't everyone have the same rights?  I thought that was the point of this country....  If someone can explain why it's so bad for same sex marriage other than, I think it's wrong, then I will agree, as of now, I could care less if anyone wants to get married.  Because I have heard a lot of reasons why it is bad if a committed couple can't be married; i.e., legal, in death decisions, property, etc.

  • November 11, 2008

    It's interesting because both of our recent posts are about the overwhelming emotions that we are all feeling by the election of Barack Obama.  There are a lot of hard times ahead of our new President.  I hope we all give him time and work to help him accomplish the necessary things to make this country successful.

  • September 26, 2008

    I know I will do my part to make sure it happens next year.  Even though I spent most of my time in the hospital.  I would do it all again to make sure the picnic happens

  • August 4, 2008

    Okay, but lets be honest, there is a general type of person who is urinating in public, in the middle of the day, with no influence of alcohol or drugs.  Is it good to start that path with a child so early? 

  • July 20, 2008

    This is where I have always wondered about the translation of the Bible, because I do not believe that anyone should ever fear, i.e. be scared, nervous or un sure about GOD, but always have faith that his will and his love will carry you through anything.  To me, by having faith in him and believing in his WORD, you will always try to live life as he would want you.  Unfortunately, everyone is human, so no one can ever live life perfectly as we should, but in trying to live a GODly life, you are also assuring and displaying to everyone your Faith in GOD.  If I have Faith in him, why would I Fear him?

  • June 30, 2008

    does it really mean family

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